Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Interview with a Moose
Today, we welcome guest blogger, Tyrabbisaurus Rex, who will be interviewing Melvin Moose from The Trouble with Antlers (a.k.a., Melvin's Rampant Rack).
Rex, take it away.
Rex: So, Melvin. You're a moose.
R: I'm sorry, what?
M: Moose shifter. I'm a moose shifter.
R: And what exactly does that mean?
M: Basically that I can shift from my human form to my moose one whenever I want. And sometimes when I don't want.
R: Yeah, but when wouldn't you want to be a moose?
M: Well, it's not always the best time, now is it? Would you want to be in the middle of class, trying to take a test, having to deal with sudden moositude? Well, would you?
R: Um, well, sure, I mean -
M: Of course you wouldn't.
R: Okay, so if you don't like shifting into a moose, why not choose a different animal? Like, say, an alligator?
M: Because there aren't any alligators in my family tree.
R: Aha! So there are alligator shifters, then?
M: Well, actually, I'm not sure. I've never met one before, but I would imagine they exist somewhere.
R: So how do I do it?
M: Do what?
R: Shift into an alligator, of course. I thought you'd be smarter, since you've got some animal in you, but apparently the human traits outweigh your animal ones.
M: Wait, so you want to shift?
R: Of course!
M: But you're not a human. Are you?
R: Of course not! Blech. Who would want to be a human? I'm a Tyrabbisaurus Rex!
M: Yes, but -
R: And I've decided to be an alligator too.
M: Why an alligator? Just curious.
R: Big mouth. Lots of teeth. Good for chewing veggies. Oh! Speaking of veggies. Parsley! Chomp-chomp-chomp.
M: Well, that's interesting and all, but um, I really should get going -
R: No, wait! Chomp, chomp, chomp. A.J. says you have antlers.
R: I want antlers too. I want to be a Tyrabbisaurus Rex shifter with antlers.
M: I'm confused.
R: I don't know why. Just show me how to shift into an alligator with antlers.
M: Well, look at the time. I've really got to go.
R: Aw, come on.
M: Nope. Sorry. Top secret shifter business. Can't be shared. You understand.
R: That's not very nice.
M: Well, you know how it is. I'm sure there are top secret bunny -
R: Bunny? Who are you calling bunny, mister?
M: Uhhh -
R: I'm a Tyrabbisaurus Rex!
M: Yes, right. So I'm sure there are top secret -
M: Right, tyrabbisaurus things you couldn't share with me.
R: Hm. Good point. Very well. I'll figure out this shifter business on my own. I'm smart. I'm sure I can manage one simple little shift.
M: Well, good luck with that.
R: Don't need luck. I'm a Tyrabbisaurus Rex. I make my own luck!
M: Of course you do. Well, I'm going to go now.
R: Yeah. Bye. Antlers. Antlers. I'm picturing antlers, right about - oooh. Kale! Yummy! Chomp-chomp-chomp-chomp.
And that was Rex interviewing Melvin the Moose. Surprisingly, the interview revealed very little about Melvin himself. I'm sure that's not because of Rex's personality or anything. If you'd like to know more about Melvin and his world, be sure to check out The Trouble with Antlers (a.k.a. Melvin's Rampant Rack) on Amazon.