In any case, every Monday morning, before school begins, I collect these letters and staple them into a book for the child. While arranging these letters, I often find myself amused by the things my students feel are especially important to share with their classmates. Usually they are utterly random comments (”I like baseball.”) or questions (”Do you like macaroni and cheese?”) Occasionally however, they are nothing short of unique.
This morning was a prime example. I happened to notice one letter had not been signed. As this letter was written in extremely precise handwriting that meandered down the page in an increasingly narrow triangle, it was not difficult to ascertain the author. Shaking my head, I set it aside to remind the student to sign the letter, realizing I would have to wait until this had happened before stapling the pages together. It was at this moment, as I was setting aside the letter, that a word upon this unsigned page caught my eye. It was the word “squize.”
What on earth was a squize? So of course I had to read what followed. What followed was “your balls”. Squize your balls? This could not be good.
My eyes immediately jumped backward to the beginning of the sentence where I read: “Be nice to me or I will squize your balls.” Further down the page, the author continued to write “If you are nice to me, I will not squize your balls.” I am sensing a theme here.
Did I happen to mention these were second graders?
Of course, at that point, I had to read the entire letter, which began with an eloquent statement of the recipient’s cuteness (”so cute, so cute”) and then a denial of being liked by that person (”I no you don like me, but I like you, so I don kare”) followed by the infamous “squizing”.
All I can say is THANK GOD I caught this BEFORE stapling the letter into a book and sending it home with my student to share with his parents and siblings and heaven knows who else.
Is it winter break yet?