It is inevitable I suppose that when teaching the young ones, unwashed hands that recently touched a toilet seat, boogers and snot wiped upon every available surface, and an often seemingly endless supply of vomit become familiar trademarks of the profession.
Even so, gross.
Today was Friday. Friday should always be a happy day, one filled
with joy for the coming weekend. Instead, it was exhausting from start
to finish, as frankly, many Fridays are for teachers and their
What made today particularly difficult however, was the vomit spewed
in giant bucketsfull upon my floor. I swear to god that a child of
that size simply should not have been able to contain the sheer amount
of vileness that spewed forth.
And I also happen to think this particular child’s digestive system
is on the blink, because in the hour’s time that passed between his
consumption of our school lunch meat surprise, and its regurgitation
upon my classroom carpet, not one single chunk of hot dog had been
digested in the slightest amount. I feel sick just envisioning it.
The worst part was that I was too busy trying to comfort my poor
distraught student to realize I should instead be diving for the trash
can and shoving it in front of his face. Give me a few more years
with the spewage and I’m sure I’ll get it right.
In any case, this happened around 2:00 this afternoon, and sadly our
custodian was off campus at the time. Being that our school has a 4:00
dismissal time, the rest of my class and I had to suffer through the
smell of regurgitated school lunch meat surprise for a full hour and a
half. We were able to crowd into the classroom next door to my own,
thus giving us a little relief, but given that Jill (the neighboring
teacher) and I share a accordian wall, the smell was not far enough away
to save us.
Thank god it’s Friday. I can only hope if the rest of my class is
also contaminated, they will get the puking all out of their system over
their weekend and come to school on Monday all chipper and ready to
learn. Yes, I know it’s not kind to wish that upon their parents, but
hey, at the very least, the parents probably feed their kids something a
bit more appetizing than dead road kill, so maybe there’s a chance the
vomit won’t be quite so… memorable.