Skittles

Skittles has been a part of my household for one month now.  She is mostly hanging out in my back bedroom.  I keep the lights low and try to spend time in the room every morning and every evening.

She's come out from beneath the dresser, which is a huge improvement. She now hides in the cat tree, which makes her accessible to me in a way she wasn't while under the dresser.

She gives me a  tiny hiss as I approach the tree.  I kneel down slowly and gently reach in and pet her. She hisses a couple times, but never scratches and never bites.  A few seconds of petting and she starts to purr. She loves the attention, but still does not quite trust that I will not hurt her. 

Of course not.

I'm the one who trapped her mother and sister nine months ago. I'm the one who failed to trap her, who left her outside to fend for herself. I'm the one who seven months later trapped her three kittens and then trapped her.  I'm the one who carted her kittens away and never brought them back. I'm the one who had her spayed.  I'm the one who's keeping her trapped in this darkened room and I'm the one who insists on petting her, every single morning and every single night. I'm also the one who brings her food and who makes her purr, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm the one who stole away her mother and her sister and later her three babies.  I'm the one who represents everything she's ever lost.

How much of this information is pure instinct and how much of it is true understanding? How much of this does she truly know or remember? Will she ever trust me enough to not hiss when I approach? Will she ever trust me enough to sit on my lap?  I am uncertain. Every day is one big question. How do I show her that she is safe?  How do I make her happy? How do I transform her life into one of safety and love?

Trap-Neuter-Release- ... Adopt?

So I've known it for a while now, but I'm really bad at following through on that whole Release part of Trap-Neuter-Release. Or maybe it's just that I'm bad at leaving them released. Either way, I'm just not cut out for the TNR life, I don't think.

I got home from my trip and was super thrilled to discover that Skittles had not disappeared. She was there almost immediately after I pulled into the driveway, greeting me with a meow and happily appearing anytime I came outside for any reason.

She would circle around me, closer and closer, never quite getting close enough to touch, but rubbing against the furniture, the feeders, the house, circling ever closer than away again, in a pattern that fairly begged me to pick her up and pet her. Of course I never did because any aggressive move toward her sent her bolting away. Instead I just talked to her and hung out on the back porch with her and one day when she followed me to the back door and meowed at me as I went inside, I held the door open for her and said to her, "Well, come on, then. Come on in."

And she followed me inside.

Of course the second the door closed behind her, she panicked and tried to climb it. I grabbed a hoodie from the hook behind the door and scooped her up with it. The minute my hands touched her through the hoodie, she froze. I carefully wrapped her up in the hoodie and cuddled her close to my body, which is when the most amazing thing happened.

She began to purr.

Now I know that some cats will purr not just when happy, but in times of stress or pain as well. But it didn't feel like a stressed out or pained purr. It felt like the real deal. Like something she'd wanted her entire life had just come to pass. Someone was holding her.

Maybe I'm delusional, but that purr sealed both our fates.

I ventured a hand beneath the hoodie and stroked her fur – so soft! – and cuddling her close, carried her to a back bedroom, where I set her up with a litter box, food and water. I've had her several days now and spend as much time in that room as I possibly can, getting her used to me. So far, I haven't tried to touch her again because she mostly hides from me and I want to build a level of trust with her. Trust that I won't overstep the boundaries she's established for our relationship. Most of the time she huddles under the dresser, watching me with a wary eye while listening to my voice. She doesn't usually venture out from under the dresser until I leave, but that's okay because I have all the time in the world to coax her into mine.

Trapping Skittles

I have no idea how I managed it, but this time I did it. I not only trapped Skittles, the very wily, skittish kitten I failed to trap a year ago, but I trapped her three babies as well.

T.A.R.A. agreed to take the kittens (thank goodness) if I managed to trap their mom and have her tested to ensure she's healthy (and by association, her kittens hopefully). I managed all of this, took Skittles to the Humane Society and had her spayed, tested and vaccinated. With paperwork in hand, I delivered the three kittens to T.A.R.A.

There was no question of T.A.R.A. taking Skittles. She'd been on her own for a year, a truly feral cat, and their advice was to release her. Given that I'm about to embark on a two week traveling venture away, I kept Skittles in my house long enough for her to recover from the spay surgery and then followed through and released her. I feel horribly guilty about it though. I've given her mom and her sister a home. They're now happy and healthy members of my household, yet I ejected Skittles back into the urban wilds of my back alley.

I worry I'll never see her again, that she'll disappear like she did a year ago and that will be the end of my journey with her. At least this time I know if she does show up again, she won't have kittens surrounding her, potentially shortening her lifespan. It's the only comfort I'm able to find.

Wishing her safety, comfort and a happy life of freedom.

Happy Birthday to Me

The kitten who disappeared back in December… you remember the one.  Pebbles’ brother whom I never managed to trap?  Well…..he’s back.  Only he’s a she and has three adorable little kittens with her.

And so it begins again.

The Animal Rescue Alliance

I love volunteering for The Animal Rescue Alliance (T.A.R.A.) and I love teaching.  I’ve been working with my students on creating digital stories using iMovie and I created two videos to share with them, as examples of what could be created using iMovie.  Both videos star some fabulous T.A.R.A. alumni.  You can watch the videos here or click on their titles to watch them on YouTube.

In Search of a Forever Home

Happily Forever After

New Cats in Culeyville

 

A lot has happened in two weeks, most of it traumatic for me and the cats living in my backyard.  I managed to trap one of the kittens in a carrier, but her mom went insane on me the moment it happened.  

Up to that point, the mama cat has been incredibly friendly, a beautiful gray kitty who lets me pet her and purrs for me.  Her kittens, on the other hand, were wild as wild could be, and would not let me touch them.  Hence I had to resort to a live kitten trap to catch them.  

While Mama was too friendly to be a feral cat, when her kittens were threatened, she turned into a fierce lion.  The minute the trap closed and the kitten began to cry hysterically, Mama attacked me, yowling and scratching, claws fully extended.  She literally ripped to shreds the pants I had on and scoured long bloody scratches up my legs.  I knew immediately that I would call her Drusilla in honor of those wicked claws.  When I picked up the trap and limped away, Mama Dru stopped attacking and followed me into the house, eyes on the kitten in the trap the entire way. 

Mama Dru and Pebbles have been living in my study ever since while I have repeatedly attempted to trap Pebbles' brother, whom I named Skittles due to his extremely skittish behaviors.  I continue to allow Mama Dru to go outside to tend Skittles, but I'm not sure it's working.  I never see them together and I rarely see Skittles at all.  I worry about not being able to trap him.  I worry because he's still very young and his mama isn't caring for him the way she used to.  

I tried to kick Mama Dru out, to force her to stay outside until I caught Skittles, but she doesn't want to stay outside and yowls to come back in.  This is the worst thing ever.  I feel horrible because I just divided a litter in half.  

My contacts at The Animal Rescue Alliance tell me this happens all the time and that I just have to keep trying to trap the other kitten.  They tell me you rescue who you can when you can because you can't save them all and if you wait until you're able to rescue all of them at the same time, chances are you won't rescue any of them.

Still I struggle with my conscience.  What gives me the right to decide that this mama cat and her two kittens, who were perfectly happy playing together just two weeks ago, need to be rescued at all?  I know logically their lives in this neighborhood would be short and harsh.  Still, I'm devastated that I'm still one kitten short.  What if my rescue efforts completely fail? 

Despite my fear for Skittles, I take true delight in playing with Pebbles and Mama Dru.  Though Mama's full-grown, she's as playful as her daughter.  Unfortunately, none of the shelters have space for a mama cat and her two kittens which makes the expansion of my household a very real possibility.  Boo Kitty Boo and Jake will not be pleased.

My students are always delighted to hear about my cats and of course, I shared with them the story of the two sleeping kittens on my front steps.  I've been keeping them updated on the rescue efforts and they've been asking to see pictures.  I made a short video for them instead.

Kittens!

Eeek!  I was hosting a get-together this afternoon at my house and when I went out onto my front porch about 20 minutes before people were supposed to arrive, who should be hanging out on the top step of my stairs right outside the porch door?  Two ADORABLE little kittens.  I have never seen anything so cute.  And of course, they ran the moment I appeared on the porch.  Didn’t have time to rescue them (people coming soon), but they’re so CUTE!!!!  I foresee … issues.  I wonder if T.A.R.A. has space.  Sigh…